


Behind closed doors

by Buggirl



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 12:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5539793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buggirl/pseuds/Buggirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Without being told, Leia knows, but how does she react? A short think piece on what I thought might be leia's response to an event that occurs in The Force Awakens. Warning for spoilers if you haven't seen the movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Behind closed doors

Her lips are tight, her posture straight but she falters as she walks. They all notice the General stumble and one comes to her aid.

"No," she says and puts her palm out. "I'm fine." She sees in the mans face confusion so she breaks into a weak smile. "Thank you but I'm fine. Go." She shoos him away and turns her face to the shadows.

She felt it, stronger than she had in years. A deep cut into her very being. The force harbours no malice, no hope or fear, it just is, and when you feel it, it does not lie.

Leia is not one to give into her feelings, but since she knows she can sense things outside the realms of her stoicism, outside of her duty, in private she gives in to them. It's a strange feeling at first, but falling for a man who stood for everything she doesn't was her undoing, she was always connected to him, even at the height of her denial. At heart, the fundamentals were always there and being a woman where practical is paramount, she fell, and fell hard for the smuggler with the wry smile and a quick blaster hand. Going against her instinct to try and rein him in had been the most difficult thing she had ever done, how does one go against a lifetime of being in control?

Night falls, a long day now at an end and as the doors close behind her the mask falls, she is no longer the General, she is the partner to Han, the smuggler, the mother to Ben, currently lost to her. She knows one is gone, the other she's not yet prepared to lose, years of unconditional love can't turn back time to her young self, one where a bitter exterior held in check her emotions.

Tears fall, and her stomach spasms with a heartbreak of a lifetime. There is no comfort in tears, or in the softness of the pillow, and there will be no comfort in the new day that will break after slumber.

She quiets, and meditates, allowing the force to flow, allowing it to calm her, the tears stop. Her inner voice is weak but it speaks with the control of the General.

"Luke, come home," she whispers into the dark.


End file.
